Remembering the Lost
by Jettara1
Summary: Hiccup has always been different, not so strong or interested in dragon killing. From the time he could crawl Stoick thought there was something wrong with his child but as he remembers back he realizes that maybe he has been looking at his son all wrong. Perhaps Hiccup just takes after his mother more than he ever considered possible. Just a little drabble about family.


Remembering the Lost

Ever since Hiccup was able to crawl he was into everything. That should have been natural for any child but there was something definitely different about this child. While most would find things to bang and make noise with or destroy everything within sight Hiccup would find stuff to simply stare at or twist and turn in his small hands if they were light enough as if inspecting every aspect of it – as long as it was small enough for him to hold. And when he did take things apart it was with purpose and he almost always tried to put them back together again, sometimes with dire consequences. Stoick was not at all happy when the handle of his bludgeon had fallen off and the bludgeon itself fell on his foot. Of course Hiccup got a complete kick out of that and wouldn't stop giggling. Maybe that should have made Stoick smile and ease up a bit but the boy only became more curious as he grew. Once he was big enough to build things Stoick was always tripping over one invention or another through the house and Odin help him if he wandered into the child's room without taking a good look at the floor first – having a dart lodged into his foot taught him quickly to beware of the floors and shelves in the boy's room and not to touch anything for fear of losing a limb.

How Valhallrama was able to glide through the chaos of their son's creative imagination was always a mystery. She was always able to sooth them both when something Hiccup did or created caused more trouble than good – which seemed to be just about every creation. She was never afraid to put Stoick in his place if he lost his cool with the boy and give Hiccup and hug and kiss to sooth away hurt feelings or boo boos. To her it didn't matter that Hiccup was different from the other kids or that he had such an active imagination. He could do no wrong in her eyes and neither could Stoick unless it came to dealing with their son, then she was worse than a mother dragon. Stoick and Hiccup loved her more than life itself.

Stoick tried teaching Hiccup at a young age to fight dragons but the child had no interest whatsoever. Worse he was terrified of the creatures. He would give a cry and hide when Stoick showed him a severed dragon head or tell stories of dragon slaying which would almost always end in Val picking up her panicked child and cuddling him as he glared at Stoick and told him to "get that Nadder head out of the house or sleep outside for the next week." When it came to dragons Stoick and Val were on different sides of an age old argument.

She decided the best way to end Hiccup's fear of dragons was to introduce him to them on a small scale. By this time Hiccup was four and found a love for painting. There were tiny hand prints all over the place. Val had decided to get him to help her build a small stuff animal and he had been completely into it until the last stitch and then his bright smile faded when he saw it was a dragon. Then he no longer liked it and started crying. The stuff dragon was put in a chest in hopes that one day his fear of the creature would fade away. It didn't stop her from trying to get him to interact with dragons, even if only small Terrible Terrors but Hiccup would have none of it. He wanted nothing to do with dragons.

Then Val was gone. Hiccup was nearly eight when it happened. A bad storm at sea had sent their boat bouncing along waves as lightning clashed and the sky lit up. Stoick stayed on deck shutting orders to his men while Val was below deck with Hiccup trying to keep him calm but the storm was bad and Stoick needed every available hand on deck so she bundled him in a thick fur, kissed his brow and promised to be back soon. Now Hiccup never doubted his mother, when she promised something she never went back on her word and never disappointed unlike Stoick who had an entire tribe to lead and couldn't always follow through with promises he made to his son for one reason or another. So Val was Hiccup's rock, she was his everything just as much as she was Stoick's. She was the glue to their little family and if she said she would be back Hiccup knew it would be true and wasn't afraid. So he huddled in the corner wrapped in fur and hugged his stuff bear as he waited for her and his father to return and tell him everything was alright.

Then the boat list dangerously starboard and yelling could be heard above before the ship bounced again and list the other direction. For hours Hiccup stayed below deck and waited and waited until the seas calmed and he fell asleep.

Valhallarama never came back for him.

When he awoke it was to his father's distraught face and tear covered cheeks, something Hiccup had never seen before. At first he didn't understand. All he knew was his daddy was upset and he reached up to touch the man's rosy cheeks as he tried to make sense to why this usually strong and fearless man was so upset and then it hit him as any intuition came to a child. His father was alone, his mother nowhere in sight and tears stung his eyes. Stoick didn't need to speak any words because Hiccup knew, he just knew his mommy was gone. He clung to his father as tightly as Stoick clung to him and together they cried.

"I'm sorry, son," Stoick whispered into his hair over and over again.

It wasn't until the ship returned to Berk that the fact his mommy was never coming home hit Hiccup. He ran ahead of his father to their hut, shoving aside the other kids in his desperation to hide in his room. There he cried and screamed for hours on end, no one, not Stoick or Gobber, able to sooth the hurt that tore at his little heart.

Stoick was beside himself. He had lost his wife, his other half and with her seemingly the world and know he was losing his young child to a grief that he himself could not handle. He tried to be a good father and comfort his child but his duties as a chief still called upon him despite his lose and he could not be there for Hiccup the way he wanted to. So he employed his best friend who was like an uncle to the child. Gobber was like a godsend and while he couldn't replace the boy's mother he knew how to entertain the boy, although that proved to be a mix blessing. Gobber would regale the child with stories of trolls and goblins, or dragons and mighty Vikings. Inspiring his curiosity and imagination, sometimes in ways Stoick really wished he wouldn't – having Hiccup hunt for trolls rather than spending quality time fishing with him had nearly sent the man into a rampage, all he wanted was some one on one time with his child to try and help them both heal. Goober was also the one to suggest taking Hiccup under his wing and teaching him the art of a smithy in hopes of quelling some of the chaotic creativity and putting it to good use. He sometimes regretted his decision when Hiccup finally took the initiative to try to fight dragons with disastrous results.

As the boy grew so did his resolve to try to be a better Viking but he was still so different from the other kids of the tribe. He tried fighting dragons but usually caused more trouble than good and Stoick was forced to admit that maybe just maybe Hiccup wasn't meant to be a Viking like the rest of the Hooligans. He had his mother's wild spirit. In fact Stoick sometimes couldn't look at him without thinking of his beloved wife lost at sea. Those traits that were purely Val's showed more and more as the child grew older especially when Hiccup conquered his fear of dragons and began to tame them. Stoick had only ever seen one other person able to walk up to a dragon, stick his hand out and have the beasts sniff it before letting him touch them. It was as if the boy could talk to dragons much as Val often seemed to and at first it disturbed and even frightened Stoick. As much as he had loved his wife her obsession with learning about dragons had nearly torn a wedge between them. It had been her determination to get a panicky Scaldron to calm down while they were at sea in the midst of the storm that had caused her to be thrown overboard. The rest of the Vikings had been so busy trying to keep the ship of overturning that no one had seen the dragon hit the side of the boat until Val had rushed to the bow to shoo it away rather than firing upon it as she should have.

Now Hiccup was the same way and the moment Stoick saw it he knew he could not let his boy fall down the same path – or at least he thought so until Hiccup proved that this was his gift. He could tame the beasts and while Stoick still feared for his boy he could not stop him, even after Hiccup lost the lower half of his leg in the battle again Red Death. Stoick had to let Hiccup find his own path and let him grow into the chief he would one day be. And while they still had trouble talking from time to time they finally did become closer and were able to put aside their differences to strengthen what was left of their family. Hiccup had started a new routine after being giving his helmet – one half of his mother's breastplate. He'd wake up, pat the helmet with a bright, "Morning, Mom!" then climb out of bed and hurry down for breakfast before rushing out to play with his new best friend and dragon, Toothless.

In those early morning hours Stoick would lean against the doorframe of their hut and watch his child take flight before removing his own helmet to look it over and give it an affectionate polish. "We did good, Val," he whisper to the helmet. "You would be proud of the young man our little boy has become." And sometimes he could imagine her standing next to him, smiling up at their child as she held his arm and for a few minutes he could forget she was gone and imagine they were a whole and happy family again. Because even if Val could no longer be with them in life he was certain she was still be them in spirit and if he ever needed proof of that all he had to do was gaze at their amazing son and the wonders he had brought to Berk.


End file.
